


Bonds

by Bluemoon140515 (Moonlight2211)



Category: EXO (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous, Light Angst, M/M, References of eating disorders, Unrequited Love, bestfriends, changki, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-19 19:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12416985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlight2211/pseuds/Bluemoon140515
Summary: ♦ If you think being in love of your bestfriend hurts just think about being in love of your homophobic bestfriend with a girlfriend ♦Changkyun loves Kihyun a lot and Kihyun loves him too but those were different kind of love... or maybe not? ♥





	1. Preview

**Author's Note:**

> Just posting the Preview now and the first chapter in few hours.  
> This is just the introduction of the characters and their relationship.  
> hope you enjoy <3

Everything began when he was 3 years old.

  
A new family moved to the house next door, it was a small family, mom, dad, and two little kids, one of the same age than him and the other two years older.

  
Changkyun’s parents almost immediately welcomed them with a home-baked cake, the youngest son and he became friends almost at the same time they met.

  
Yoo Kihyun, his new but best friend

  
When they were 5 years old Changkyun had a really bad fever and he can’t leave his house or his bed for almost a week. 

“Ki” – the younger of the two for only three months said to attract the other attention – “You can go and play with Jinyoung”

Kihyun, who was currently painting in a book his mom bough for him look up at him and rolled his eyes – “Nope”

“Ki” – Changkyun said again – “I don’t want to bore you”

Kihyun without ask climb next to him on the bed - “Move” – Changkyun did it and the oldest cuddled with him – “Let’s take a nap then”´

At the end Changkyun spent the next few days taking care of Kihyun’s fever too.

When they were 7 years old Changkyun had his first broke bone. 

He was riding his bike around the neighborhood with his self proclaimed best friend (against his will) Shin Hoseok, who was older than him by a year. Kihyun that day visited his grandparents and was really afar to play with him.

He fell and hit his arms really strong against the floor; the pain was unbelievable so his family run to the hospital. 

Kihyun insisted to cut the visit and came back home after receive a call from Changkyun’s parents. 

That day Kihyun spent the whole time scolding Changkyun, saying how idiot he was, he should had the protection, how Kihyun was going to threw that little… thing to the garbage, how he was going to lock him inside his room and kick Hoseok’s ass.

Anyway, he was the one who spent every single minute with him. 

Problems began when he was 10 years old. 

His parents fought a lot, almost every day they found a new reason to throw each other anything they had in hands for small it was. 

Changkyun can’t handle it anymore and ran to Kihyun’s house; his parents happily accepted him inside in his home and

welcomed him as a new member of their family, leaving him sleep on Kihyun’s bed next to him. 

A night became two, two become three, days became weeks and every time Kihyun hold him and sang him a song to sleep.   
In moments like that Changkyun Just can’t think in a life without Kihyun, the younger was totally attached to him and loved him deeply in his heart… no like he was planning saying that in front of the oldest, but he was completely thankful for everything he has done. 

His dad left the house a pair of weeks later, Kihyun left him cry in his chest until Changkyun didn’t have any more tears.   
Changkyun discovered he was a little bit different when he turned 14 years old. 

For someone as young as him was normal having different stages and this could be one but after stop trying to lie to himself, he finally accepted he wasn’t interested in girls. 

It wasn’t only with his female classmates but also singers, idols, actresses, even the nude girls in the magazine his friends brought to school a day, nothing could cause any effect on him, so, he was sure of something, Changkyun was Asexual or Homosexual but not even in a million years, heterosexual.

He developed a massive crush on his best friend when he turned 15.

Or at least he noticed it at that age. 

It wasn’t like something changed that year, Kihyun was still the same overprotective bestfriend, they still spent hours together, went to school, being in the same classes, sit, eat lunch, go back to their houses, play games, watch movies, study, do homework, wait for their parents, all of that together.

Only a thing changed, the gossips around them; Their classmates used to comment a lot about their relationship asking them if they were dating, at first Changkyun didn’t care but at some point every time Kihyun denied and said they were “Only friend” it hurt him, he wanted to changed it but too coward to confess. 

When he turned 17 years his entire world collapsed. 

He needed Kihyun in his life more than food, air or water.

He wanted Kihyun but he was too busy following other person.

Other Person Changkyun thought was more important than him. 


	2. My dear bestfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy <3  
> thanks for reading <3

Changkyun woke up with the voice of his best friend in the phone as a daily reminder he needed to leave the comfort of his bed – “Get your fucking ass up little shit!!” – He probably slept over the first 3 calls and Kihyun wasn’t the most patient person in this world, it was the first day of class and the younger boy wanted everything... Anything… but go back there, but it wasn’t like Kihyun aka naggy-boy-worst-than-his-mom would allow him that.

  
After several long breaths he gave up and finally went to take a shower, dress and wait for Kihyun to take breakfast together, their usual morning, the eldest boy usually was the one cooking for them since his mom work long hours and sometimes she didn’t have time to go back home so Kihyun took her spot.

  
“Hey” – Kihyun said after few minutes they started eating – “I hear we have a new girl this year”

  
“Oh, I’m glad” – he didn’t even look at Kihyun

  
“You sound so insincere!” – He wasn’t really interested and act as if he was it was not what he was planning to do anyway – “She’s a model boy! She should be hot!!”

  
“Yey” – He sounded dry as well and the brown haired man gave up –

  
“I also hear Kim Minseok is our math teacher again” – he commented just to change the topic –

  
“Really?!” – For the first time that day Changkyun showed real excitement

  
“Wait Wait” – Kihyun stopped him – “Are you more excited about a teacher than a hot girl?”

  
“Well, Minseok Hyung help me a lot last year with maths” – Changkyun defended – “Unlike other…”

  
“Yah!” – Kihyun pointed at him in an accusatory way with the spoon – “The last time I tried to help you we fought for a whole week or so”

  
“And did I say something Ki?” – Playing innocent always worked with Kihyun, he was weak with his cuteness – “You know I like Minseok Hyung a lot, he has been dating my cousin since... I don’t know… high school?”

  
“She should be hot too, Professor Kim is extremely sexy too” – Changkyun chuckled awkwardly – “I don’t know hot, but maybe cute” – He can’t told him the truth, his teacher wasn’t dating a hot nor cute girl, indeed his teacher wasn’t even straight, but he can’t say him anything… after all Kihyun was one of the biggest homophobic in this world, just thinking the person Changkyun ended falling in love.

  
“But Seriously Kyun” – He said attracting his attention again – “That’s why people always think badly of us”  
Changkyun didn’t care what people thought about them but it was painful how much Kihyun hated it – “You need to find a girlfriend this year!”

  
Girlfriend, he said, he almost laughed bitterly on his face, almost, but he didn’t – “Already bored of me?” – He showed his best puppy eyes, always he wanted to change that topic used that tactic – “Will you let me? Ignore me? Let me for a pretty girl?”

  
“Of course not idiot” – Kihyun slapped his head not too hard but not softly either – “You know you’re my favorite person Kyunnie”

  
Changkyun’s heart skips a beat inside his chest; this man didn’t know how those words could affect him so badly.  
They left after finish their breakfast and talked about everything and anything at the same time in their way to school, whoever walked next to them could think they didn’t meet the whole break but the truth was they never let each other side the whole time… but that was they used to be.

  
Entering the Classroom they were received by their overexcited friends Lee Jooheon and Wang Jackson who they missed a lot, hugged each other and sat in the desk, Changkyun next to Kihyun, without say a word as if it was unwritten law. But it was as things used to be.

  
The group of friend talked while the rest of the room was fulfilled by their others classmates, some of the greet them other just walk straight to a empty seat too tired to say a word to anyone, until Changkyun’s favorite teacher entered the classroom with a pretty girl next to him and Kihyun was right, She really looked like a model but instead of hot, she was cute and pretty, her face was angelic, short hair, a little bit small and totally Kihyun’s type.

  
She introduced Herself, Jung Eunbin, even her voice was good, Changkyun and his gay ass accepted she was one of the most beautiful girls he has ever seen around, Professor Kim Tasked him to show her the school that day and since the rest already chose their seats, she sat alone in the only empty desk behind Changkyun and Kihyun – “Hey” – Kihyun said in a low tone when his professor turned around to write something in the board – “What about if you change with her and let us sit together?”

  
Changkyun knew he was joking but still hurt him, he unconsciously pouted and Kihyun chuckle a little bit – “I’m Joking dummy” – He smiled fondly to him, oh that smile that made Changkyun forget and forgive everything – “But I’m planning going with you to show her the school”

  
“Yoo Kihyun!” – Mr. Kim called him – “Since seems like you want to talk, why you don’t come here and read us the rules for this year?”

  
Changkyun really loves his professor.

  
***

  
Kihyun did what he said he would do, a part of Changkyun wanted to leave them alone, saw his long time crush flirting openly with the new student was something Changkyun wasn’t pleasant, but the other part didn’t want to serve him in Silver Platte.

  
The elder man was carrying the whole conversation, asking Eunbin about her life, her previous school, her friends and Changkyun hardly can say something else more than “This room is…”

  
The Day was tiresome, Kihyun showing his whole intention in front of anyone was hurtful to se, he has date other girls, sure, but he has never been too interest, usually they were the only ones confessing to him.

  
But what was the worst was, that day, for the first time in 14 years they’ve shared together, Kihyun ditched him to escort her to her house – “Poor girl, she still doesn’t know this place, I need to show it to her” my ass’  
“Oh boy, Cheer up!” – Hoseok, other of his neighbor, childhood friend and Sunbae said, walking with him to home – “You know how Kihyun is when he has a new toy”

  
It was different; He didn’t fall in love of his toys.

  
***

  
Later that day Kihyun went to his house to eat dinner together but Changkyun didn’t opened the door nor answer any of his calls, after a while he gave up – “Hey I’m sorry” - he wrote in a message which Changkyun ignored too, too proud to forgive him so easily.

  
The next morning as usual he woke up for Kihyun’s voice on the phone – “Still Sulking little shit?” – was the first thing he said and a really sleepy and really confused Changkyun didn’t proceeded what was happening around him.

  
“Oh! My dear best friend!” – Then he remembered the previous day and every single letter was full of bitterness – “Are you eating with me or you need to pick the new student in her house too?”

  
“I was planning does it” – Kihyun replied and Changkyun noticed he wasn’t being taking seriously – “But I guess since you’re upset I’m eating with you”

  
It felt as a spine in the heart, Kihyun didn’t even care – “Leave, I can eat alone” – It was only being a day and already Changkyun was punched to second place –

  
“I was joking” – his tone show surprised his answer made him felt, usually if he said something like that Changkyun become in a whinny little baby but he was so… dry – “I’ll be there in 15 minutes”

  
Indeed Kihyun was there in the time he said, Changkyun just had enough time to take a fast shower and put only his boxers – “Hey” – the brown haired greet him and enter the house, but Changkyun ignored him – “I know I was an ass yesterday but I’m really sorry Changkyunnie”

  
Kihyun sounded so sincere, he really felt bad for what he did and who was Changkyun to not forgive him? Well… He was Im Fucking Changkyun and he wasn’t second choice to anyone.

  
“…” – Changkyun pretended walk away but Kihyun pulled him close and enclose him in a tight hug – “Come here!”  
Forget the hug, Changkyun was without any proper clothes in the middle of the house and Kihyun chose that moment to be so close? That can’t make anything good to Changkyun’s heart – “Yah! Let me go!”

  
“Forgive me?” – Kihyun presses a light kiss in his check –

  
“No, I’m not forgiving your ungrateful ass, go and find _that_ girl instead” – The blonde try to break free but his attempts were in vain, indeed Kihyun was strong for a short boy like him–

  
“Oh yeah?” – Kihyun tight the hold more not letting any space between them – “I guess we’re staying like that for the rest of the day”

  
As if he was planning skip class or let Changkyun getting a cold for being nude the whole day, he knew Kihyun so well – “Forgive me please!”

  
Kihyun look directly to him eyes, still too close for Changkyun’s sanity and how he wished he could lean on and kiss him, for someone as homophobic as him, this scene was pretty gay.

  
Changkyun was blushing hard, probably his neck, checks and ears were as red as the only clothe he had on - “I-if I forgive you… would you promise me you never will ignore me for Eunbin or any other person?”

  
Kihyun gave him one of his killer smiles and release his hold – “Of course man! I promise” – he patted his back in a friendly way – “Now go and put some clothes on you, weirdo”

  
Regardless of how much that hurt, Changkyun hear everything about his precious time with this new student but Kihyun seemed so happy.

  
Oh well, at least he promised.

 


	3. Hurt

“I promise” my ass’ – It was been 3 months since Eunbin moved and every single day was worse than the previous one. Yeah, despite Kihyun said he wasn’t going to ignore Changkyun his words were like air for him.

  
Indeed Kihyun went to Changkyun’s house every day in the morning and walked together to school but then, the seat next to him was usually empty because his friend chose sat next to her now.

  
During lunch Eunbin joined them often, although other classmates treated to talk with her, in fact girls didn’t like her that much, I could be due to she was attracting all the boys attention or because she was ruining their beautiful OTP.

  
The time Kihyun used to spent with Changkyun after school was reduced to zero, it was a new excuse every day and for few days he go out with them too but it was clearly as the sun she didn’t like it and Kihyun wanted to be alone with her, after two weeks Changkyun completely gave up.

  
At some point Kihyun started to going to school without Changkyun, calling early as usual saying he had “something to do” even if he knew it was an obvious lie and hurt him deeply, but there was nothing he could do to stop him.

  
Then a day the calls also stopped Changkyun sleep over the first two classes and gained a scold by his teaches.

  
He hated her? No. But he can’t deny a part of him wanted her to disappear, eraser her of their life, send her to Jupiter, lock her in a jail and forget the key, well, yes, Changkyun hated her.

  
Despite Changkyun being totally, completely, deeply, truly, madly in love of Kihyun, he can’t let him step on him, in those weeks Changkyun found home in one of Hoseok’s friend, Lee Minhyuk.

  
He was a little bit weird, overflowing of energy, his hair was white and you can always find him laughing, he was the person Changkyun needed in his life.

  
“Kkungkkungie!” – Minhyuk said or better say screamed it to the world the moment his English teacher left the room, it was already a bad day but his energetic Hyung could do it better at least so Changkyun was glad he decided pestering him after class– “Time to go”

  
“Hyung!” – Changkyun whined and pouted – “I told you to stop calling me like that!!”

  
The blonde usually acted as if he hated it but a part of him like it, he liked feel loved – “Let’s go pup! I need to watch movies with my best friend!! I want popcorn and ice cream! What about some videogames?” - A sudden wave of sadness passed through him, it was exactly what Kihyun and he used to do every day… And Lee Fucking Minhyuk knew it, of course he did, something like “Casualty” didn’t exist with him so he didn’t miss the upset look on Kihyun’s face before drag Changkyun out of the classroom.

  
***

  
“You should go and talk with him” – Minhyuk said out of blue when they were playing a new game he brought, he loved his time with Changkyun but he was tired of seeing him being miserable, he missed Kihyun and being with him wasn’t helping him.

  
“Nope” – he still had a little of pride to protect – “He didn’t want me there what is the point?”

  
Minhyuk hit the back of his head – “The point is… you miss him and really Kyun you look like a zombie, how many times did you cry last week?” –

  
“First… OUCH!” – He ruffled the sore spot – “second, I didn’t cry Hyung”

  
“But you miss him” – The white haired man repeated and sure, he did, and he accepted it, as cheesy as it could sound, Kihyun was his other half but Changkyun wasn’t begging him to spend time together. After noticing his little pup wasn’t getting any better Minhyuk dropped the subject and focus on destroy him in the game, which he easily success.

  
It was already late at night, they spent the whole time watching movies and cuddling under the blanket watching movies when the oldest decided let to go home – “Min Hyung” – Changkyun called him- “I’ll talk with him”

  
Minhyuk smiled bright to him and hugged him to cheer him up -”Everything is going to be alright”

  
Changkyun took his keys and waked with him, his Hyung kissed his forehead when they were in front of Kihyun’s house and then left. The lights on his room were on so at least Changkyun knew he was at home, one, two, three breaths he took before opened the door, After his parents’ divorce, Kihyun’s mom gave him a copy of their keys so he didn’t need to wait for someone to open the door for him.

  
The place was completely dark except for the light of the kitchen Kihyun usually let on for his parents when they come home, they were alone at least, if they needed to scream to each other, they’d be alone.

  
Everything was totally in silence too, if was not because he hear something above him he could have though they house was completely empty, therefore, he went upstairs, second door to the left, Kihyun bedroom.

  
He took few long breaths again to calm his heartbeat before enter the room ‘You just need to say it c’mon man’ – “Kihyun we need to…” – Changkyun froze when he saw the scene in front of him, Kihyun was there of course… with Eunbin… In the bed… and they weren’t precisely reading the bible, but if Changkyun was positive at least they were fully dressed.

  
“Im Changkyun! What the hell are you doing here?!” – Kihyun got up of the bed almost at light speed and stood up in front of it- he was pissed, red of fury and it was the first time he shouted at Changkyun like that.

  
Changkyun felt as crying but he didn’t know if it was because Kihyun was about to fuck that girl or because he was screaming or because he was having his first broken heart, however, he felt as if he can’t handle that pain.

  
“I wanted to ask you why you were ignoring me again” – His voice was so weak almost as if a soft was about to left his mouth and Changkyun hated it, he hated how he can’t hide his pain in front of him – “But I already got the answer”

  
Changkyun throw the keys to him ignoring the ones from his own house were there and left the room – “Bye ex best friend”  
“Changkyun come here!” – The younger boy can hear it from behind but nothing could made him stop, he ran and ran, to any place except his house, no where he had so many memories with Kihyun, no when all he wanted was disappear, take a plane to China and change his name, he didn’t have any destined, he didn’t know Minhyuk address, all his other friends were Kihyun’s too, he didn’t have any money or phone to call someone, his options were limited, so he thought on someone, someone who could do whatever to him and ran until there, it was a long way but Changkyun felt it as a small walk so full of his own thoughts until reach a pretty house and knock, once, twice until someone opened the door– “Changkyunnie?”

  
“Jongdae Hyung!” – Changkyun didn’t say anything else before reach for the other boy and buried his face of his chest crying as he has never done before in his life letting go all what he was holding on him and they stayed like that for long time that felt as hours, Kim Jongdae, His cousin, moved as he could until reach his couch and let Changkyun cuddle with him until he calmed down and finally look up – “I’m sorry for this”

  
He noticed his whole shirt was wet of his tears and other fluids but Jongdae didn’t really care – “Its okay Kyunnie” – the oldest clean his checks and smiled to him.

  
“My student crying on my boyfriend’s arm… how could this happen?” – Changkyun finally noticed his cousin wasn’t alone… after all was Friday at night and probably their couple time too.

  
“Minseok Hyung!!” – He exclaimed surprised – “I’m sorry I’m leaving now!”

  
“Move your ass back here Im Changkyun and tell me who I’ll be killing tonight? It’s my ugly aunt right?” – He tried to joke just to make the mood lighter but it didn’t work, Changkyun shook his head and sit again, in the comfort of his cousin and his boyfriend arms – “It’s that bestfriend of yours right?”

  
Changkyun frowned – “Which bestfriend? Minhyuk? Hoseok? Jinyoung? Jooheon? Jackson?” – There was bitter in his voice and Changkyun fought a little sob trying to no cry again.

  
“Kihyun” – Jongdae replied but after hear what Changkyun said an answer wasn’t really necessary – “I don’t know someone called Kihyun, he died to me”

  
“Yeah, Yeah, come here, tell everything to your lovely Hyung” – His cousin comfort him and listen to him while Minseok prepared hot chocolate for all of them knowing Changkyun loved it, but his love for chocolate wasn’t as big as the love he felt for those two men, they were the first and only persons he opened and talked about his sexuality, they were the only ones who taught him being different was okay.

  
The lovers let him stay for the night after Changkyun finally calmed enough to sleep, a night turned into the whole weekend but any of them really complain, it almost felt as a family… but Monday was around the corner and two days wasn’t enough to forget everything that happened with Kihyun.

  
During Monday morning all of them went back to Changkyun’s house to pick his school things it was early so Kihyun wasn’t around and he can’t be more grateful.

  
It was also extremely early to be at school (except for teachers) he hid in the teachers room the whole time until Minhyuk came and tried to cheer him up after scold him for ignore his messages during all that time but forgave him after hear the whole story, it was the first time Changkyun saw anger in his little sun and he promised to drop kick Kihyun the next time he saw him.

  
He avoided Kihyun as the plague that day, it was kind of difficult after all they share all their classes but he successfully did it letting him more than clear he didn’t want anything to do with him but it wasn’t until the last class, math to be precise, that Kihyun sat next to him for the first time in months.

  
“Ch-” - Professor Kim entered the room just seconds after Kihyun sat and didn’t allow him spit whatever he was trying to say but Changkyun didn’t care, this time he wouldn’t allow him to take control over him or his feelings, no anymore.

  
During the middle of the class Changkyun was talking notes to ignore Kihyun more than for his studies until the last one passed him a note

  
 _‘Let’s talk’_ – he read it and immediately threw it away, he thought Kihyun could give up but he insisted

  
 _‘Let’s go home together’_ – Changkyun thought if he any other day in the past months said exactly the same words, his imaginary tail could be shacking of happiness but this time his heart was beating but no in the way it used to be, hurts and Changkyun wanted to cry again.

  
 _‘No’_ – he knew the brown haired man never accepted a “No” as answer but Changkyun didn’t find himself writing something else than that.

  
 _‘Kyunnie, let’s talk please’_ – He sighed ‘Kyunnie my ass’

  
 _‘I don’t have anything to say to you’_ – he passed him the note and saw him roll his eyes.

  
 _‘But I have a lot to say to you and I know you too, I’ll be waiting for you after classes’_ – Kihyun didn’t let him an option to chose at all but even if Kihyun follows him and talk, Changkyun wasn’t listening, he wasn’t ready for this.

  
“Mr. Yoo Come here and resolve this exercise” – Their professor said saving his ass for few minutes.

  
Sadly for him peace didn’t last long, the class was over even before Changkyun knew it and he found himself packing his things in his bag, Kihyun did the same but he didn’t wait for him before exited the room.

  
That day he had plans with Minhyuk and Hoseok so he was leading to their classroom but Kihyun stopped him, any of the say anything and definitively Changkyun wasn’t going to be the first one to talk – “Changkyunnie”

  
Kihyun had that softly tone he always used when he tried to relax Changkyun, he used it for months when their parents started fighting and he was using it now, it didn’t work though – “I’m sorry for shout at you” – That wasn’t exactly what he should be apologizing – “But you came unannounced and…”

  
“Kihyun” – He interrupted him – “In the past 17 years I’ve known you when I ever told you I was coming?” – Changkyun replied coldly getting pissed for every word his mouth left.

  
“Truth” – He agreed – “But you know… we’re older now… like… you’re still my bestfriend…”

  
Kihyun was taking small breaks between phrases, it was obvious he was nervous or didn’t know what to say, any of them Changkyun care but something he said really getting out of his nerves – “Bestfriends?” – He exclaimed offended – “Do you think you are at least a friend?!”

  
Changkyun hated it, his voice was rising every time and his usual calmed self was losing his mind – “Listen Kyun, I know you’re a little bit pissed…”

  
“No Kihyun, I’m not ‘A little bit pissed’” – Changkyun said with a mocking offended tone – “I’m furious!”

  
Any of them noticed they were standing in the middle of the halfway and the unwanted attention was unbelievable – “Well don’t be”

  
“Well, sorry for you but I have totally all the rights to be pissed” – He refuted – “Like… Did you forget the pass months?”

  
“Oh my God Changkyun” – Kihyun raised his voice too – “I have a life outside you!”

  
Bitter… - “Then” – The younger punched him away since at some point they were standing too close to each other, as if they were ready to fight – “Why are you even trying to include me?”

  
“Because you’re my bestfriend!” – He sounded tired already.

  
“No you aren’t!” – Changkyun raised his voice – “I’m sorry but the bestfriend I used to have would never change our friendship for a pair of tits” – Both of them can hear the other students whispering ‘uhh’ for his comment –

  
“Respect Changkyun” – He came closer again – “Us? You’re the only one who is a dick about this”

  
“Really?” – He almost can’t believe what his ears were hearing – “Do you even care about Jooheon? Hoseok? Jackson?” ‘Me’ he wanted to say but decided to shut up

  
“I do!” – That’s a lie, he hardly talk with them, and no one support him with his relation – “You’re the problem here!”

  
“Am I?” – That was another injury in his heart – “How is possible I am a problem for you?”

  
“You need to stop being so damn clingy!” – Another wave of surprises noises came from the audience but they really didn’t care anymore - “If it’s not because of that we could be friends without people thinking we’re a gay couple!”

  
Changkyun felt tears on his eyes but he hold it back, reality hit him hard on the face, it was true, They couldn’t never be a couple and Kihyun let it more than clear again – “You don’t need to worry anymore” – Changkyun said with a lower voice, his poker face back and his voice sharply than ever – “I’ll not be close to you anymore”

  
Changkyun walked away and heard it from behind - “Fine!” –‘wow that was better than I thought I could be’

  
In the crowd Minhyuk and Hoseok were waiting for him, almost trying to kill Kihyun with their eyes but opted for drag Changkyun away and tried to cheer him up sadly Changkyun didn’t really want to go with them to any place and went directly to his house.

  
“Changkyunnie?” – From all the days in the year his mom chose that day to be early at home – “Baby boy why are you crying?”  
Changkyun never noticed his tears until his mom mentioned it and run to hug her – “Mom… I think I’m in love”

  
“Aww” – she cooed, rubbing his hand around his back – “But being in love is the most beautiful feeling in this world”  
“No mom, it isn’t” – He denied it – “Love is something awful”

  
“Oh boy!” – She cooed again – “My baby just had his first broken heart?”

  
“Mom” – Changkyun felt horrible but his mom aptitude and arms made him released some tension – “Are you making fun of me?”

  
“Of Course no, my baby” – And actually she wasn’t – “Now tell all to mommy”

 


	4. Confession

Tell his mom the whole story wasn’t very pleasant but it made him feel a little bit better, he told her everything, about his insecurities, his crush, their fight, about Eunbin, what he saw, and the worst part, his sexuality.

  
His mom can’t believe the sweet boy who took care of his precious son for years now, changed overnight, and definitively accept his only son wasn’t giving her grandchild anytime soon made her feel uneasy but after saw him so broken she understood how much Changkyun loved him.

  
She left him skip class the following day and stay by his side, nothing as mom’s love to repair his heart, well… not really, but at least Changkyun didn’t need to met Kihyun that day, anyway, his peaceful time was over faster of what he thought it could be.

  
The next day at school the mood was down, everyone already knew about their “little fight” and was waiting for another confrontation while his closer friends were worried about his well being.

  
Changkyun was good at pretend, it was something he didn’t even know before, but it was perfect when he pretended he was totally fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he didn’t care, that it didn’t hurt and the best act, he pretend he didn’t know a “Yoo Kihyun”.

  
During lunch Changkyun usually joined his seniors’ friends dragging his other two friends, Jooheon and Jackson, with him after all any of them approved the relationship Kihyun and Eunbin had and pretend they didn’t exist and finally after class he walked home with Hoseok and sometimes with Jinyoung.

  
But the masochist side of Changkyun, that sometimes was so big to torture himself, waited for Kihyun to come home, watching from the security of his room, sometimes he was alone, sometimes he was with Eunbin or sometimes with Jaebum, the only of their friends who still shared words with him. He knew by his mother Kihyun’s parents didn’t like her either and always but always asked for Changkyun.

  
A Month went like that and no even once Kihyun tried to contact him

  
At some point Changkyun stopped eating, it began with skipping dinner then sometimes he didn’t have appetite during lunch and since Kihyun stopped coming he didn’t take breakfast anymore, it was not like he was dieting nor he was disappointed of his actual weigh, no, he just wasn’t hungry.

  
The time he got late at school also increased, every day he slept over all his alarms but who can blame him? He never used them before, so at some point his hours of sleep were also reduced, so scared to get late he got insomnia at night.

  
His friends were getting worried about him every day more, he already was losing so much weight, hardly smile and his eyes never showed life as before, his cousin and his teacher already scold him several times, his mom wasn’t at home as much as she wanted to be, with a lot of customers and meetings, she spent whole days away.

  
Changkyun felt alone even when he was around people and that was so wrong.

  
Even Kihyun’s parents noticed Changkyun’s state and his mom dragged him to their house after work so they can have dinner together.

  
“I don’t want to bother you Mrs. Yoo, I’m really okay” – He tried to refuse but she didn’t let him –

  
“Since when eat together is bothersome for us Im Changkyun? You’re my third son!” – She actually dragged him around their yards and didn’t care about his whines, sadly for the whole family and Changkyun, Kihyun was already there, with Eunbin… their reaction… Kihyun’s reaction, his shocked face, his frowned, hurt Changkyun even more, he wasn’t wanted there.

  
His mom didn’t seem pleasant with her girlfriend’s presence either – “I didn’t know you were with someone” – her face was serious, as a strict teacher – “Could you leave? Please”

  
Eunbin nodded and stood up, but Kihyun stopped her – “Wait mom… why she needs to leave?”

  
“Because this is my house and you do what I said you to do” – Changkyun felt awkward to watch his family fought, that was something usually never happen – “And if I want to have a dinner with my family I’ll have a dinner with only my family”

  
“Then what is he doing here?” – He pointed at Changkyun which mood drop to the floor.

  
Before someone else can say anything Changkyun spoke – “I’m leaving, sorry for the problems” – and let the house, not even once looking behind.

  
People at school like spread rumors as air, one of them was about Minhyuk and Changkyun’s relationship, something like “Kihyun broke with him, Minhyuk confessed his love for the younger man with flowers and a dinner since then, Minhyuk was helping him forget about his true love” and It wasn’t totally wrong… like, the part of Minhyuk repairing his broken heart or helping him to feel better, that was true, but something as a confession… No, that didn’t happen, his already graduated, tall, tanned and strong boyfriend Hyunwoo could kill him without even try if that was true.

  
Changkyun developed a huge stress due to the circumstances around him, his feelings, avoid Kihyun, pretend to be okay and school was destroying Changkyun psychologically, he was weak and a day he reached his limit.

  
That day Changkyun woke up with a terrible headache, feeling dizzy and strangely (not really but more) tired, as almost every day he was alone at home and any pill to be found, appetite? No, actually Changkyun can’t smell anything because it just make his headache worse, the only thing he wanted and couldn’t to do was skip class and go back to sleep, but he can’t do it without a bunch of people losing their mind for nothing.

  
As he could, he got up of his bed to get ready to school; only try was so tiresome, he was thinking he could be visiting his cousin if his headache didn’t get any better.

  
He went to school in taxi, which was the most strange thing in the world, of course he was questioned by his friends but let it go after noticing Changkyun didn’t want to talk, the rest of the day was like that he pretending being okay his friend worrying over nothing and Kihyun giving him weird gazes, he didn’t really care about anything else, he just wanted to go back to his house and sleep all the weekend if that was possible (and if it wasn’t Changkyun will make it possible)

  
Finally the last class that day, math to be precise, the teacher entered the room and was explaining something Changkyun wasn’t getting a shit about, he just saw numbers and letters and probably nothing he would use in the future so he decided take a small “nap” laying his head on his crossed arms above the desk hiding his face on it and no for his own taste, other people noticed – “Mr. Im”

  
It was their professor’s voice ‘Minseok Hyung, let me sleep, just a little bit’ he tried to say but his body lost the ability to move, it feel so dark and everything hurt too much, he was tired, too tired and only wanted to sleep, forget everything and everyone, forget this world and just sleep.

  
He heard steps coming closer to him and patted him in the shoulder – “Changkyun? Hey Changkyun, wake up” – His voice was louder now but the blonde can only hear a light whisper from afar and later feel how he was lifted up of the chair and dragged outside the room, it was so weird, those arms felt almost familiar and the smell just made him think in only a person, Kihyun.

  
The characteristic sweet smell only Kihyun had and can calm him down.

  
Everything was going to be okay.

  
***

  
The moment Changkyun opened his eyes he was received by a really gloomy mood, in the room were his cousin talking on the phone, An upset Minseok, Hoseok, Jinyoung, Jackson and Jooheon standing with worried faces against the wall and Minhyuk fighting with Kihyun… Wait… Kihyun? What was he doing there??!!

  
“He’s awake” – Hoseok was the first one to notice him and mentioned it, everyone stop what they were doing to look at him… awkward.

  
Jongdae stood up and asked the rest to wait outside (good way to say he basically kicked their ass off there) and the rest did what they were told, all, except Kihyun and Minhyuk who stubbornly stayed, a bit afar from the bed but in the same room, looking straight at him.

  
“Where should I start? Hmm? Im Changkyun?” – Jongdae was upset, something Changkyun has never seen before and in moments like this he hated a familiar was the doctor of his school – “No eating? Really? I thought you getting late at class was already bad enough, are you even sleeping? What about your fever? Changkyun you have a fever of 40.5° you know how bad it is?” – If Changkyun was completely sincere he didn’t think it was that bad – “Why you didn’t come to me? You know I’m always free for you”

  
Changkyun felt as a kid being scolded by his mom but he knew he fucked when he saw everyone faces – “I’m sorry” – Jongdae sighed and the two behind copied his act.

  
“Idiot” – He ruffled his hair and smiled fondly at him, his face full of mother’s love – “I called your mom; you’ll be living with me for a while”

  
“Hyung!!!” – Changkyun whined – “I don’t want to be a burden, really, I’m fine!”

  
“You’re not fine and you’re not a burden, you’ve never been and you’ll never be” – his cousin replied – “You need someone to take care of you and…” – he turned around to look at his back (exactly say: Kihyun) – “I want you afar from your problems”

  
Both Kihyun and Changkyun were taken aback for his comment but any of them say anything, after Jongdae checked his little cousin to see if everything was okay, the brown haired man asked for few minutes alone with Changkyun and after throwing their best glare at him, Minhyuk and Jongdae left them – “Everyone hates me now right?” – he said as a joke and still only his voice can cause something inexplicable inside of him – “So... How have you been?”

  
‘As if you care’ Changkyun thought – “Better than ever!” – He replied coldly – “Don’t you see?”

  
“That’s brave for someone who just faith” - He tried to joke again but Changkyun wasn’t even looking at him – “Changkyun-ah”

  
“Hmm?” – He hummed, Kihyun didn’t deserve his voice

  
“Can we be as we used to be?” – His voice sounded so sincere, Changkyun almost gave up, almost – “Can you at least look at my face while I’m talking to you?”

  
He can’t – “Why would you want to be friend of someone like me?” –

  
“Well I kind of miss you so…” – Kihyun talking now about missing him? Why it took him so long? Why now he was trying so hard to forget him.

  
“Well, my clingy and disgusting ass don’t want to be your friend again” – ‘Want to be your boyfriend but that’s impossible’ Changkyun got up and picked his things-

  
“Stop Changkyun” – He rolled his eyes – “I never say you’re disgusting, but the whole situating, we always being called a couple of faggots, sorry that’s not my style… but now I’m dating someone and Eunbin is willing to let us be friend and…” – ‘Let us be friend’ he said I don’t ask her for permission’

  
“No” – In moments like this he regretted talk again with him, he was so upset – “I don’t want to bother you with my presence”  
“So dramatic Changkyun” – He rolled his eyes again – “You said it as if we weren’t friends before and like… I don’t know maybe all a life?”

  
“It’s different now Kihyun” – Changkyun tried to walk away but Kihyun stopped him –

  
“The only difference is I have a girlfriend now” – Kihyun refuted – “You can have a girlfriend too and…”

  
“Kihyun, I can’t…” – Changkyun interrupted him – “There’s a lot I’m not saying to you, and I’m almost sure you’ll hate me”

  
“Changkyunnie…” – That voice again, Kihyun soft voice trying to say him everything was going to be okay but Changkyun knew better – “There’s nothing in this world that could make me hate you… you’re important to me-”

  
“Kihyun” – The blonde said serious, looking straight at his eyes – “I can’t have a girlfriend, or date a girl… I can’t even think of me dating one”

  
His eyes were like plates, so shocked – “Wh-”

  
“I’m Gay” – Changkyun finally confessed but instead of feel lighter he was worried, worried of his reaction –

  
“Are you kidding now right?” – The youngest knew very well how much Kihyun hated this kind of people so of course he was expecting be rejected –

  
“No” – He said with the same kind of tone –

  
“Y-you can’t!!” – Kihyun didn’t know what to say it was obvious

  
“Of course I can” – Changkyun was trying to keep his poker face and was doing a good job but he felt like breaking right in the moment –

  
“But Changkyun… that’s unnatural, you can’t have kids or marry, you’ll disappoint your mom, what about your future? You know how gays have sex and and and… that’s… That’s disgusting!” – The elder finally said and Changkyun’s world crushed again –

  
“I know right? I’m disgusting” – He stared directly at his eyes – “So please, stay away from me” –

  
Changkyun didn’t feel like he can’t handle any more pain so he left the room with Kihyun extremely shocked inside, at least he didn’t try to stop him and he was free to cry the rest of the night.

  
“How it went?” – Jongdae asked the moment they were inside the care, he kicked away the others (even his boyfriend) to be alone with Changkyun.

  
"I think I’ll be crying on your chest again tonight”

 


	5. I accept you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!!!   
> finally the story is getting somewhere ♥

That night they picked almost all Changkyun’s clothes and other important things, a part of him didn’t want to leave but he knew there were stuck the memories of him and Kihyun together, the one he was holding onto the past months, but now he was ready to move on or at least try, - “When this will stop hurting me?” - he asked Jongdae that night while they were watching movies, Changkyun cuddling at his side letting his cousin comfort him, he cried so hard that he thought he didn’t have any other tears to cry in his whole life.

  
“Maybe when you stop loving him” – his cousin replied –

  
“How long it will take?” –

  
“I don’t know how much do you love him?”

  
“When he’s not with me I feel as if my lungs are not getting any air”

  
“…” – Jongdae took a while to reply, thinking of what to say – “It’ll take you a while”

  
‘Or never’ – That was what Changkyun thought after that conversation, but thinking clearly now, no one has die for love right? He can live with it; after all he wasn’t the first person or the last one either with an unrequited and hopeless love.

  
It’s been two weeks since then, Changkyun was the shadow of the person he used to be, a year ago people used to call him “Puppy” or something cuter than that due to his personality, but now he was a zombie for the same reasons, at least his problems getting late to school were over thanks to Jongdae in a nice way to say it.

  
About his little problem with Food… they were also resolved by Jongdae… “If you don’t eat by yourself I’ll stick the chopstick until your throat, do you understand little shit?”- So yes, he ate even if he wasn’t hungry, who knows what his cousin could do if he didn’t.

  
With Kihyun… every day was worse than the previous one, at first he pretended Changkyun didn’t exist, then it changed to give him weird stares, it was between disgust and guilt, like if he felt guilty for feel disgust towards Changkyun, is that even possible? At least for Kihyun no, anyway, things didn’t get better for him, sucks he still had a year and half to go before graduate and left for college.

  
Changkyun knew this new guys, Chae Hyungwon, he was exactly the opposite of Kihyun, first, he was tall, calm when he has to, funny when he feel comfortable, always shows his love, at least with him and what’s better! He never gets mad about neither skinship nor Changkyun being clingy and can care less about what people thinks of him.

  
Hyungwon was perfect for him, from head to toes he was a miracle of the heaven, an actual angel on earth, but… why Changkyun keep following Kihyun with his eyes? Why still he chose him over everything after all he has done to him? Is this a kind of obsessive love? ‘It’s been months since the fight idiot, he hates you’ he repeated to himself always his mind was full of Kihyun.

  
One day he decided to stay a little longer and talk with someone who knew a bit more about love than him, and preferred someone else than his cousin and who is better than his cousin’s lover? No one!

  
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” – Minhyuk asked for who-knows-how-many-times that day, he was trying to drag him to a fast food restaurant and later play some games with some of his boyfriend’s friends he didn’t know but Changkyun wasn’t in the mood, he never was anyway.

  
“Kkungkkungie” – he used that pet nickname again – “Are you sure you are okay? Are you eating and sleeping well?”

  
“Yes Hyung” – he forced a smile that looked more like a sad gesture than a proper smile – “But you know I’m not in the mood”

  
“Baby” – Minhyuk gave him a peck in the forehead – “You know you can come to us anytime right?”

  
“Yes Hyung” – He blushed – “But we’re in the hallway someone can see us”

  
“It’s late; do you think there’s someone here at this hour?” – Minhyuk moved a bit to let him have some of the necessary personal space – “It’s not like a care people know that I LOVE YOU” – he screamed the last part to the world to hear and Changkyun can’t stop a little giggle.

  
“Hyung! Shut up!” – Then the oldest run waving his hand to him and let him alone.

  
Well that ball of energy made him feel better at least, he walked direction to the teacher’s room but before he was close something stopped him punching him hard against the wall… ouch that hurts!

  
“So... It’s his fault?!” – That voice…

  
“What are you talking about now?!” – That person hold him by the collar – “Kihyun let me go!”

  
“It’s because of him you… you… you…” – Changkyun noticed Kihyun was furious with him again but exactly why? – “You changed!!”

  
“I’m being exactly the same Kihyun” – Changkyun sighed – “You are the one who change”

  
“Me?” – Kihyun was close, really close and Changkyun can smell his toothpaste, his cologne, fuck, Changkyun was so fucked –

“I’m not the one who likes men overnight!”

  
“It’s not as suddenly as you think” – the younger sighed – “I’ve been like this for years”

  
Kihyun’s shocked expression wasn’t a surprise, even he took years to accept it, how can he hope for Kihyun to do it?

  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” – As if it wasn’t obvious, Changkyun can’t help but rolled his eyes.

  
“Why should I?” - He said – “It’s not even as if you care about me”

  
Changkyun felt a strong pain on his left check and he really can’t believe Kihyun actually used too much strength in his punch, it was not like it was the first time he has been beat by him but this time it hurts too much.

  
“What the…”

  
“Hey! You two!!” – A strong voice came from one of the doors… Great, they were caught – “Fighting? In school? Come here!!”   
At least was only Minseok in the officinal, they could be in serious problems, they sat down on two chairs and Minseok was in front, glaring at them – “Want to explain?”

  
But no one dare to say something – “Changkyun?” – The oldest man watched at his student waiting for an answer.

  
“It’s nothing professor” – The younger said sharply – “We were just talking” – Kihyun stayed in silence but with an annoyed expression, Minseok nor Kihyun nor himself can believe he was lying to save his ungrateful ass.

  
“Your face say me other thing” – Their professor pointed at his check – “Tell me the true”

  
“I did it” – Changkyun tried again – “We were talking I made him mad and he hit me”

  
“Changkyun…” – Minseok almost was almost sad for him, how could be this stupid

  
“It’s okay Hyung” – He showed him his puppy eyes

  
Their professor sighed – “Fine” – Minseok gave up – “But I’m calling your parents, now, go away”

  
Both students got up and walked outside – “Wait a moment Mr. Im, I need to say something else to you”

  
Kihyun left and Changkyun wait for him to talk – “You can’t leave him step on you just because you love him”

  
“I know Minseok Hyung”

  
***

  
Minseok really called their parents who can’t believe their inseparable kids friendship was so broken until the point of fight, they have fought before but nothing to serious, so they planned something

  
“But mom!!” – Changkyun whined – “I don’t want to go!”

  
“No buts!” – She ignored his pleads and throw him a pair of jeans – “Get ready we’re leaving in 20 minutes”

  
It was Saturday and Kihyun parents had the incredible (horrible) idea to organize a ‘dinner in family’ and invited Changkyun’s mom too so she can drag him with her.

  
Changkyun didn’t chose a lot, black jeans, white shirt and black shoes, since his mom was free the whole weekend, Changkyun was staying with her, in the house next to Kihyun’s, only few steps away.

  
When he entered the house, Kihyun’s mother welcomed him with a big bear hug – “Changkyunnie!!” – She said before kiss his check and dragged him to the living room – “Kihyun is upstairs!!”

  
“Oh…” – When he didn’t see him around he had the little hope he wasn’t there for the night

  
“Don’t be shy go go!” – His mom pushed him until reach the door

  
“Ki! Kyunnie is here!” – She opened the door and finally Changkyun was inside and he met Kihyun gazed, it was dark and upset but he didn’t say anything, no when Changkyun stepped closer, no when he sat in front of him on his desk, Kihyun was reading some kind of weird book, a bit boring if Changkyun can say, and didn’t have time to the guest.

  
They stayed like this for minutes than Changkyun felt like hours, he didn’t know what to do he felt so unfamiliar in a place he used to felt safe so he took his phone and messaged Minhyuk. 

To: Min Hyung ♥  
Save me!!

  
From: Min Hyung ♥  
Boy what’s wrong with you now?

 

To: Min Hyung ♥  
I’m in Kihyun’s house!   
My mom forced me to come!

 

From Min Hyung ♥  
Kiss him before he murders you at least!

 

To: Min Hyung ♥  
“Hyung!!” ): 

 

From: Min Hyung ♥  
I know you want it! ;)

“Changkyun” – Kihyun called him with a soft voice

  
“Yes?!” – He replied a little too loud for his own taste but then he noticed Kihyun let down his book and was closer to the wall.  
“Come here and sit with me” – a little hesitantly Changkyun got up and walk until his bed, only to stop on the edge – “it’s okay I’m not beating you anymore”

  
As if Changkyun was going to believe him but how this is the first time in months since they were so close Changkyun did it, the silence was uncomfortable but any of them had the guts to speak first, Changkyun phone was ringing and ringing into his jacket but he decided ignore it.

  
“I’m sorry” – Kihyun finally said – “For hurt you”

  
“This?” – He pointed at his injured check – “You hit me harder the first time I drank”

  
Then Kihyun let go a little and shy laugh – “I’m not apologizing for that! You deserved it! I told you to not do it!!”

  
“It’s okay” – he also lightly laugh – “I don’t know where I could be without you…”

  
Changkyun closed his mouth after that ‘God job Changkyun’ they stayed in silence for some seconds more, he regretting what he said before.

  
“I’m not being a good friend lately, uh?” – Kihyun asked but the younger wasn’t sure what to reply but he didn’t think he even wanted an answer anyway – “I’m sorry for ignore you”

  
“It’s okay” – For the first time since they were kids Kihyun hold his hands and the blonde almost panicked –

  
“I’m sorry for what I said” – he continued

  
“Which part?” – Changkyun was curious if he mean about that

  
“Everything” – Kihyun was drawing small circles on his hand and did he even know how much that affected him? - “You aren’t all what I said”

  
“Then… I’m not clingy and annoying?” – He tried to joke just to ignore the constant jump on his chest, the butterflies on his stomach, the flush on his checks and the sweat on his hands, at least Kihyun didn’t seem to matter.

  
“Well… indeed you’re clingy” – In his voice wasn’t even a bit of malice and Changkyun felt as if he can relax – “But you aren’t annoying… well sometimes”

  
Both of them laugh – “I’ve never hear you say sorry so many times the same day” – Counting how proud Kihyun was, it was almost a miracle.

  
“Don’t get use to it brat!” – He joked again – “But there’s a lot more I should apologizing with you”

  
“I should be the one apologizing though” – Kihyun raised an eyebrow – “What for?”

  
“I know you didn’t like people annoying you but you always keep me near, so I kind of felt special” – He explained 

“You’re special” – He interrupted him and said softly, Changkyun insides melt for his words ‘but not in the way I want to be!’

“Thanks” – Changkyun tried his luck and intertwined their fingers and Kihyun didn’t seem to mind – “It was my fault everyone misunderstood our relationship”

Kihyun nodded – “Yeah, all my girlfriends dumped me thanks to you”

“I’m sorry!” – Changkyun felt bad but Kihyun didn’t care about it 

“I don’t care, all those girls weren’t important to me” – He replied and gave him a little smile – “I don’t know what happened this time”

“You love her” – Those words hurt him deeply but he needed to accepted it if he wanted to be his friends again 

“No I didn’t” – he refuted

“You’re still with her; it’s your longest relationship” – 

“We broke like a month ago” –

“Oh…” – Changkyun can’t say anything else but he can’t deny he was happy about it – “Why?”

“I never love her”

Then they stayed in silence again, however, unlike before, this made him feel relaxed, enough to lay his head against Kihyun’s shoulder and close his eyes, some months ago this was so common for them, as breath. 

“Oh my god!” – Changkyun exclaimed, for some seconds he forgot Kihyun still wasn’t comfortable with that part of him – “I’m so sorry!” 

“Why are you more exalted than me?” – He teased with a smile on his face, he didn’t seem mad and Changkyun relaxed again – “I still have some questions”

“Sure!” – Changkyun moved to now face him – “Ask as much as you want…”

“Is that guy your boyfriend?” – Kihyun didn’t wait to Changkyun finish what he was saying to ask that – “I don’t like him”

“Who? Minhyuk?” – Changkyun in his delusional mind thought he could be jealous, yeah, really delusional 

“The guy who calls you as a pet” – He replied trying to hide the hate on his voice but Changkyun got it right away – “Is he gay right?”

“Maybe” – Totally - “But he’s taken you know”

“Then…” – Seemed as if Kihyun was choosing carefully his words as If he didn’t want to hurt him and Changkyun appreciated it – “When did it start?”

“I realized very young, like… I wasn’t interested in girls at all” – Kihyun nodded agreeing with him – “I accepted it when I turned 15”

“Two years ago?!!” – He exclaimed – “You weren’t planning on telling me at all right?”

“Maybe… someday…” – Kihyun wasn’t buying any of his lies so he just sighed and told him the true – “No” 

Kihyun pouted and the younger found it extremely adorable – “Okay… I know I’m an ass but you could’ve told me” – As if Changkyun was going to believe him, not matter how, Kihyun would get mad about it – “But what’s bothering me more is…

You told that friends of yours before me?!! Traitor!”

“I didn’t tell him!” – Changkyun defended himself but he noticed Kihyun was just joking and smiled– “He just discovered it”

“Have you ever dated any guy before?” – The blonde shook his head – “Really? I thought you could have do it even if you didn’t tell me”

“I wasn’t interested in anyone” – but you; 

“Then… you’ve never.. You know…” – Changkyun understood and almost immediately felt his cheeks burning up – “No”  
That was all what he said before they fell into other silence but this time, it was comfortable, the younger was playing with his fingers feelings Kihyun staring at him – “I care about you”

“What?” – He hear it, clearly and loud but he felt as if he needed to hear it again to reaffirm he wasn’t hearing things, his checks never let the rosy color but now was brighter 

“You said I don’t care about you” – Kihyun explained – “But I do, even if we didn’t share a word in months I was still looking for you, I noticed you lost a lot of weight, the bags under your eyes are bigger than your eyes, you skip lunch for several days straight, also you met new people, I knew you hate Eunbin or at least strongly dislike her, I noticed your relationship with doctor Kim is almost as brotherhood but you called him cousin so I supposed he’s the person dating Professor Kim right?” – he made a little pause to stare at the shocked Changkyun in front of him – “As I said, I noticed things, I almost had a heart attack when you fainted and refuse to leave until at least I was sure you were okay, fuck I shouted your name so high that I think every soul on Seoul heard me” 

Changkyun felt tears forming on his eyes but he was incapable to stare at other thing than Kihyun’s serious face who was trying to look at anything but Changkyun – “What I want to say is… I love you and I care about you, I know it’s difficult believe me and I know I’ll be taking time, but I accept you as the way you are and… fuck Changkyun outside my family you’re the person I’ve loved the most in my life, you’ve been with me for so long and… Why are you crying?!!”

  
Kihyun panicked when he noticed the other boy sobbing hard and shaking, his hand finally let Kihyun go only to hide his tears (or his face in general) but in that moment he couldn’t stop himself.

  
“Hey Hey” – Kihyun tried to take his hands off of his face – “What’s wrong? Please talk to me”

  
But Changkyun shock his head, at least Kihyun can see his face now after he successfully took them away – “I am just so happy, all I wanted was being accepted by you, I was so scared”

  
“Idiot” – he sighed but smile feeling lighter than ever – “I’m not that important”

  
“You’re important to me” – If it wasn’t for Kihyun little panic attack after Changkyun started crying harder he wouldn’t have miss the raised of his heartbeat inside his chest, without thinking at all he hold Changkyun’s head against his chest and his arms securely hugging his hips as Changkyun wrapped his arms around his necks hiding completely his face on him.

  
Kihyun draw small circles around his back and everything he could reach, the boy on his arms gradually stopped crying and fell asleep, it felt so right and he didn’t care about an already exposed homosexual was laying almost on top of him, no, he was his Kyunnie!

  
People didn’t believe him, some of them even thought he was overreacting but when he said he needed Kihyun to breathe properly, he meant it. 


	6. Impulsive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter ♥ Finally Changki together soon!

It felt so warm, woke up with his legs tangled around Kihyun’s and his arms around him and resting his head on his chest, the elder, by his own, woke up before him and was playing with his hair, Changkyun pretended being asleep for a while just feeling his fingers caressing him; Wake up like this every morning, share a kiss and cuddle 5 minutes more, that was his dream, he wanted to stay like this but his hunger was strong enough to make it “wake up” and face him – “Kihyunnie?” – He smiled and oh my god it was too early to already have a heart attack.

  
“Good Morning sleepy beauty” - The elder greet him and got up of the bed – “You hungry?”

  
Changkyun nodded and tried to hide his brushed checks but Kihyun just chuckled and looked at him fondly – “Go and wash your face, your things are where you left them”

He did what he was told, washed his face and brushed his teeth to later exited the room and went downstairs, his stomach was really killing him, it was sounding so hard that he thought all their neighborhood could hear him… wait… stomach… sound… hunger… when was the last time he felt something like that? He really need to get over those feelings, it was almost toxic. 

The rest of the house was completely in silence, probably his mom left after dinner and Kihyun’s parents were out or sleeping. Changkyun found him in the kitchen and took the opportunity to warp his arms around Kihyun’s perfect slim waits and rest his head on his shoulder – “Ki~” – the younger whined as a little kid and he giggled – “I’m so hungry, I feel as if I’ll faith”

“Just wait a little bit” – Kihyun didn’t react badly with the boy clingy to him nor asked him to move but Changkyun clearly can see him move a little bit uncomfortable. 

“Does this bother you?” – He finally asked getting a bit nervous when Kihyun’s shoulders relaxed after releasing his hold. 

“No” – He replied – “But if you don’t hug me I’d be better”

Changkyun nodded and went to sit a little afar of where Kihyun was, a pout never letting his face, the elder noticed and almost reminded him as a kicked puppy – “You can hug me after we eat if you want” – He continued cooking maybe trying to look indifferent – “So we’re not burning ourselves”

Changkyun’s eyes shone for this – “Really?! Can I?” 

“Sure” – he finally looked at him and gave him one of his perfect smiles – “You need to repay me for months without my bestfriend” 

He willing could spend the whole day with Kihyun… Or a whole life if he just ask.

***

As Kihyun said they spent most of his Sunday together playing videogames or cuddling, until it was late at night and the younger needed to leave to his cousin’s house, he was moving again back at his house and Kihyun can’t hide his excitement.  
Monday maybe came faster than any of them wanted; at least Changkyun woke up in the perfect time thanks to the perfect voice through his phone asking him to have breakfast together. 

It was as if they went back to the previous days before Eunbin presence ruined everything, Changkyun was thankful he had his friend back, the only difference was now he didn’t need to hide anymore… well, not completely. 

After eat, they felt to school and of course his classmates noticed those two hanging out together, even their common friends’ faces can’t hide the surprise, they sat together this time and share some talks here and there during class (being scolded several times too).

Changkyun was happy, his good mood was almost contagious, Jooheon noticed this and finally let his guard down. 

“Hey” – The younger boy got approached by Jooheon when he and Kihyun were leaving to lunch – “Are you eating with us?”   
The smaller guys shared a look and then nodded, heading to the cafeteria together, in a table were sitting Jackson, Hoseok, Minhyuk and Hyungwon. 

When they joined, Changkyun and Kihyun received the same weird stares from them, the younger decided ignore it and introduce Kihyun to their new addictions.

“Ki, let me properly introduce them to you” – Changkyun started – “This tall guy here is Hyungwon, same year but different class, and this guy here is Minhyuk, our Sunbae, Wonnie, Min Hyung, He’s Kihyun” – they bowed lightly and kept eating.

  
Minhyuk and Hyungwon knew Kihyun very well, as well as Kihyun didn’t need a long biography to know exactly who they were and their intentions, since that moment it was obvious they could never get along.

  
It was awkward, no one dare to say something even when they probably were dying for an explanation or at least have some questions. Changkyun knew Kihyun still didn’t completely accepted that part of him but he was trying, anyway, it was a different case with his other friends that were the same as him, all the time Minhyuk or Hyungwon tried to breath near Changkyun, Kihyun was already fuming them with his eyes, God knows what was in his mind.

  
“Kyunnie” – Minhyuk finally said something – “Are you going out with us after class?”

  
“No” – Kihyun replied for him not even looking at Minhyuk once – “He’s staying in my house”

  
Minhyuk frowned – “Then tomorrow…”

  
“He can’t either” – It was Kihyun again, Minhyuk was looking at him as if he was planning his murder… and indeed he was.   
Minhyuk tried to calm down before he talked again (breath in breath out boy) – “Kkungkkungie” – Kihyun cringed hard when he hear it from close and Changkyun panicked – “If I become your boyfriend you’ll spend more time with me?”

  
It was an indirect, he really was looking for a fight and Changkyun knew well Kihyun got it when he raised his gaze to look at Minhyuk with fire on his eyes.

  
“I-I could” – He replied trying to get all the attention to him and it worked – “But Hyunwoo Hyung will kill me if that happen”

  
“Too bad too bad” – Minhyuk had a fucking smirk on his face and was staring at Kihyun back – “I know you soon will find a boyfriend by your own and you won’t have time for your friends, I’ll miss you”

  
The bell sounded and Changkyun almost thanks to the heavens Mr. Do didn’t allow students be late for his class so he had the perfect excuse to drag Kihyun off there.

 

  
“I don’t like him”

Yeah right now Changkyun didn’t like him either (But still loved him too much)

***

Kihyun was really trying; after two weeks he can hold a civilized conversation with Minhyuk and Hyungwon, Hoseok also let his guard down but still scold him for ignore them and hurt Changkyun.

  
They went out twice, Changkyun still in the middle of his new friends and his best friend.

  
When they were alone Kihyun tried to be as he used to be before, their mornings were amazing, but Changkyun noticed Kihyun hold himself back when he was about to touch him, sleep together were out of question, it was okay, he was accustoming. Everything was okay, not perfect but okay, he can’t complain, until a day Hyungwon decided he was tired.

  
“Im Changkyun!” – He shouted the moment the bestfriends stepped on the school yard – “We need to talk!”

  
“Hyungwonnie?” – Usually his sleepy head didn’t wake up until lunch but that day he was extremely active for Changkyun taste – “Let’s go to…”

“No need” – He was close… too close, he usually didn’t care but from all the people, why in front of Kihyun? – “You know I like you please go out on a date with me”

“What-” – Changkyun was about to question his intention but Hyungwon interrupted him –

“You don’t need to answer me right now” – Then he left, letting behind a confused Changkyun and a fuming Kihyun.

  
The weirdest confession he has received in his whole life (No like he has received a lot) but what was worrying him wasn’t his friend feelings - for cruel it could sound - what scared him the most was the reaction of the boy behind him,

“Let’s go” – Kihyun didn’t give him a second gaze before walk until their classroom nor treated him badly either, he was just… distant, as if he was thinking hard about something, looking annoying even upset sometimes. The whole morning was spending like that Kihyun ignoring him and Changkyun looking at him with puppy eyes.

  
It was lunch time when the time to talk came, Kihyun asked him to stay while and Changkyun agreed.

  
The silent fulfilled the classroom after the last student left, Kihyun wasn’t saying a single word and anxiousness attacked Changkyun, this made him thought as if they were back at the time he confessed his sexuality to him. 

“What are you thinking?” – Kihyun asked probably trying to approach without scaring him –

“Nothing… What are you thinking?” – The oldest smile fondly but only for few seconds before turned serious again.

“Do you like him?” – That question again, why was Kihyun so obsessed? 

“Of course I like him!” – Changkyun replied and Kihyun froze, a constant pout on his lips – “but in a friendly-brotherly way”

“So… Are you planning reject him now or later?” – He was jealous right? Changkyun can’t be imagining this.

“No” – oh Kihyun was angry again – “I mean, I’m 17 now and I’ve never tried to dating someone…”

“You shouldn’t use other people feelings for your benefit Im Changkyun” – ‘Yeah but I need to forget you’ 

“I know but maybe if I date him, kiss him and… you know, I could develop feelings for him” – Even Changkyun wasn’t buying any of this shit but seemed logical enough for Kihyun. 

They stay in silence for other few minutes, lunch break was almost over and Changkyun got up and walked direction to the door – “Are you coming?”

Kihyun nodded and went straight to Changkyun who was resting the weight of his body to the wall waiting for him – “But before” – in seconds Kihyun was standing in front looking at him – “You said you wanted to date him because you wanted to kiss and to do other stuff with him and… I’m also a guy and…” – Kihyun was babbling and he never does that.

“Ki, focus” – Changkyun stopped him noticing how close they were now – “What are you trying to say?”

“Kyun” – the elder took a long breath – “Why don’t you date me instead?”

“What?!”


	7. Interlude (Kihyun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fast Kihyun point of view ♥ Hope you enjoy! the story is almost over!! :3 ♥

**Air**

  
_“Changkyun” – a 10 years old Kihyun called the guy who was softly resting his head on his chest, was one of those nights when his parents fought and his little friend run away to his house._

  
_“Yeah Ki” – his brown eyes were now looking at him, he was cute and Kihyun wanted to protect him at all cost._

  
_“If you can describe me in a word, what could it be?” – As Kihyun expected Changkyun’s face changed to a confused one –_

_“Being sentimental Ki”_

  
_That little shit dared to teased him -”Just reply brat”_

  
_He giggled but seconds later turned serious – “Air”_

  
_“Air? Why?” – The elder asked a little bit confused, from all the words he could use, why air? –_

  
_“Air is always there even if we can’t see it and definitively we need it to live” – Suddenly Kihyun felt his checks turned pink -_

_“You’re always there for me, well I can see you but I know you’re protecting me even behind my back… I know you were the one who hit those guys who tried to bully me”_

_“Ohh” – Kihyun pretended he didn’t know anything – “Don’t know what you are talking about”_

_“I know you know” –They giggle again but Changkyun turned serious again – “And I kind of need you to life”_

_“Too young to be so cheesy” – He joked gaining a punch from his bestfriend but he can’t find himself getting angry for it, no_

_when Changkyun made him feel so special, he was glad Changkyun thought he was necessary in his life._

***

Kihyun had a lot of defects, he knew it and accepted it, he has always been too proud to accept a mistake, unfriendly, he hated noisy people, has short temper and doesn’t think twice before kick someone ass.

  
But there was something worse than all that together, something even Kihyun hated of himself, he was totally, completely and deeply homophobic.

It wasn’t something he got overnight, actually some years ago he didn’t care about it, it was all fault of the people around him, he hated being treated as a girl just because he was “small, cute and pretty”, men confessed a lot when he was in middle school, he even got some stalkers thanks to it, he hated it, he hated men, he can’t count in any of his friends since any of them knew it, not even Changkyun.

He created the image of an open homophobic to prove if those weirdo’s stopped and it worked for some time but every plan has his problems right?, in this case the gossips of their female classmates never stopped, they found funny and interesting a homophobic falling in love of his male bestfriend and at first he didn’t care because Changkyun didn’t seem bother about it in any way.

But it was tiresome when every girl he dated dumped him for the same reason “You’re so close to Changkyun, why?! Chose between him and me” it’s not necessary to explain why they’re called “Ex girlfriends” because any of them were more important for him than Changkyun.

Eunbin was different to any of those girls, she was beautiful indeed but she was real and smart, no like those airheads called girlfriends and the most important, she was new, afar from all the rumors.

They clicked almost immediately, the day he went to her house he noticed she only lived with his mother after a difficult divorce and almost as fast as the light he felt he need to protect her; no long after he also discovered she was socially awkward and was difficult for her make new friends, at first he only wanted he only wanted introduce her into his little circle but Changkyun didn’t seems he like it, he felt bad but he can’t let her alone.

His intention wasn’t ignore Changkyun but he can take care of himself for a while, right? _No, this was his first mistake._

The day Changkyun found them at home Kihyun despise the idea of Changkyun finding it indeed he didn’t want to him see that but he can’t understand why he felt so guilty, maybe because he yelled at him or because already called him “Ex-bestfriend” fuck that hurts, Kihyun called for him but Changkyun never stop, he sent Eunbin to her house and started looking for his younger friend around without any good results, that weekend he hardly slept worried as fuck for Changkyun.  
Changkyun was, is and always will be the most important person for Kihyun, nor even Eunbin nor any of his other friends can battle it, he seriously loved that kid with all his soul and not because he didn’t try to talk with him after that huge fight didn’t mean he stopped caring, he was just… upset, upset because Changkyun can’t support him, enough was with his parents, why everyone blame her anyway? she never asked him to changed it just… happened.

“Kihyun” – She called him one day when they decided go to her house to study, yes, only study – “Have you ever thought Changkyun might have romantic feelings for you?”

“I don’t think so” – He kept reading the boring book his literature teacher send to them, after that fight with Changkyun even his relation with her was falling apart

“And Kihyun” – She tried to attract his attention again- “Have you ever thought you are with me just because I made you think on Changkyun?”

“What are you even saying?” – For Kihyun no one could be remotely alike to Changkyun and she knew it, so he didn’t understand what she was implied now.

“Listen, Just think about it” – She dramatically explain with her hands – “Changkyun and me are cute right?”

Kihyun arched an eyebrow – “I didn’t know you were so full of yourself” – She rolled her eyes and pouted

“But you didn’t deny it!” –She acted as if she found something important – “I KNEW IT YOU THINK CHANGKYUN IS CUTE!”

“Yeah” – Kihyun kind of smiled – “You and probably the rest of the world know I find Changkyun extremely cute, I’ve never tried to hide it and that proves… nothing”

He went back to his homework – “Listen to me!!” – She cried – “We have similar family issues right? I think he was bullied at school too”

“Well kind of, but I never allowed it…”

“Ki…” – That was how Changkyun called him and suddenly and wave of sadness went through him – “I don’t know how you were before I came, but before you seemed happier”

He was, before all the problems began, he remember before they went back to class, the awesome time he had with Changkyun and felt as crying – “Do you miss him?”

“Of course I do! Every single day I miss him more”

“Go talk to him idiot”

The next day he definitively wanted to talk with him, Eunbin said something he would never forget – _“Kihyun I think you’re only with me because I reminded you the old Changkyun_ ” – It might be true just like it would be totally wrong too, anyway, they didn’t broke that day but they talked about it, But it was okay, he knew what was between them wasn’t love, it was convenient, Eunbin wanted someone to talk with her and Kihyun wanted the gossip stopped, but that didn’t matter, no when the brown haired noticed Something off on Changkyun and he realized what it was when he fainted in front of everyone, Kihyun felt how the blood left head as he stopped breathing, he didn’t care punch his professor away to take him to the infirmary.

Kihyun wanted to take this time to talk, fix everything, tell him he missed him and need him back, the last thing he was waiting for was Changkyun saying he was the only thing Kihyun hated the most, words he didn’t want to say, words he didn’t mean, he let them split from his mouth, he left Changkyun go when all he wanted was stopped him, hug him and say him everything was going to be okay.

Kihyun took more time of what he expected it to be to accept the fact his little baby was different, he even went and hit him in the face, fuck, Kihyun felt he didn’t deserve someone so precious as Changkyun, he even protected him after all he has done and didn’t let him get into any trouble, damn, Changkyun deserved someone better, someone as Minhyuk but Kihyun didn’t give up, no he tried to get him back again during the dinner his parents organized, he talked to him, apologized that day more times he ever has done in his life but it wasn’t enough, he needed to say more things he mouth didn’t say, he panicked when he saw him cry but softened when the blonde said he only wanted to be accepted by Kihyun.

He noticed his heartbeats rising when he hold him in his arms, it felt so right, it wasn’t anymore the boy-who-likes-boys anymore, it was just Changkyun, his Changkyun, the little kid who said he was as his air, then for Kihyun was like oxygen because he felt he didn’t breath this whole time.

Things were as normal as it could be, Kihyun was still uncomfortable with some things, Changkyun’s new friends were part of those things, he didn’t like how “Close” they were and how touchy and how that dickhead called Minhyuk thought he had the right to call him His in any way.

Kihyun wasn’t the jealous type, no, but why did bother him so much? Changkyun having a boyfriend mean less time with Kihyun and more time with that lucky bastard, not now when Kihyun finally got him back, please no!

But his rosy cheeks, his pink lips, his surprise eyes, everything, felt so right, Kihyun could get used to Changkyun being around, not only as his bestfriend, he just needed to say ‘Yes’

What a joke of the universe, a homophobic guy asking out his male bestfriend.

But the universe knows what it’s the best.


	8. Try and date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for Monsta x comeback?!!!! this story is almost over! i'm trying to finish it before their comeback :3 so you're knowing about me soon! Thank you for read it! ♥

_“Kyun, why don’t you date me instead?”_

  
What did he say? Changkyun felt as if he died at some point of their conversation, maybe he felt asleep and he was dreaming, maybe he was hungry and was hallucinating.

“Kihyun please” – Changkyun begged – “Don’t joke with this”

“I’m not joking” – He exclaimed moving a bit closer to Changkyun, he just can’t believe it, trembling hands reach the elder checks and cupped it.

“Are you sure?” – He gave a last step while he saw Kihyun nodding – “Does this bother you?”

“No” – He replied and Changkyun moved his hands to intertwine his fingers on his hair – “What about this?”

“No” – He repeated so the younger rest their foreheads together only feeling his breath against his skin, the light hold the elder had on his waist and the warm of his body was enough to driving him insane, his heart was doing things he didn’t know was possible to do.

  
But he noticed Kihyun was tense, this could be as magic for him sadly it was different to Kihyun, even if it took all of his self control and will, he let the love of his life go – “You don’t need to force yourself…”

He couldn’t complete what he was saying because was Kihyun who close the distance.

Butterflies and fireworks were things from fairytales and movies, or that was what Changkyun thought before that moment, Kihyun was more experienced and took control of their kiss but Changkyun tried to show him how much he loved him through it.

When Kihyun broke it Changkyun chased after him, kissing him shortly and several times more – “This was my first kiss”

“Do you like it?” – Kihyun asked and if not because Changkyun still didn’t open his eyes he wouldn’t miss the little smile the elder had.

“I love it” – He giggled and oh my god Changkyun can’t stop himself to lean on and kiss him again this time longer and deeper, the blonde can’t get enough of this, of Kihyun, of everything, this was truly like magic – “I’m hungry”

“Yeah, me too” – Kihyun took his hand – “Let’s go, I can’t let my boyfriend starving”

 _‘Boyfriend’_ – Changkyun can die happily now.

Actually they left the classroom for nothing because they didn’t have enough time to even reach the cafeteria; anyway, Changkyun was hungry but got himself a wonderful and gorgeous boyfriend instead.

Their friends were surprised as well but happy for them, all except Minhyuk who was claiming the youngest attention – “Don’t ignore me little brat, I’m your bestfriend!”

“I _am_ his bestfriend” – Kihyun replied for him as his new habit and Minhyuk rolled his eyes.

“No, you’re his boyfriend” – Minhyuk refuted – “You can be both!!!”

“I’m his everything, face it”

They can’t get along for so long.

After class the recent couple ditched their friends to spend time together, all Changkyun wanted was hold him and kiss him deeply then… why the fuck Kihyun wasn’t stinking his tongue on his throat by now? Oh yes, that new game he got was extremely good and when Kihyun said “Play games” he didn’t mean “Use it as excuse to kiss the whole time” did he even remember they’re dating now?

Changkyun can hear him cursing and spreading hate towards the character he was playing when seemed Changkyun was winning, but at the end Kihyun won and couldn’t stop praising himself, showing that ucocky face Changkyun secretly love.

“Yeah Yeah you’re _the best”_ – The youngest rolled his eyes and got up direction to the kitchen – “Want some snacks?”

“No snacks until dinner Im Changkyun” – he scolded him now changing the game to a one-player type.

“But Kihyun~” – he whined cutely and the elder smiled – “I’m hungry!”

“I already told you, no is no” – he sat back and motioned to Changkyun to do it too, this time between his legs, of course he didn’t complain at all and Kihyun let him play first. It was fun, Changkyun can’t deny it but the whole time his hands were a big distraction; they were on his belly button at first but later they started drawing small circles around, sadly for him his hands were the smaller of his problem when Kihyun started giving him little pecks on the neck time to time.

Obviously Changkyun lost the game so he pouted and looked at Kihyun – “You did it on porpoise!!”

The elder laughed a bit, of course he did it, after all Changkyun was a bad loser - “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” – he said but his face didn’t show any regret – “Want to take revenge?”

“No, but…” – Changkyun got up to shift the awkward position he had, now sitting properly on his lap – “I want to kiss you”

“What is stopping you then?” – in second his arms were around Kihyun’s neck and the distance was closer and closer, only millimeters away, Changkyun can feel the warm of his body, his hands on his hips, their noses touching, the smell of Kihyun, Just a bit more…

“Kyun! I’m home!” – Changkyun cursed when he tried to get up and fell on the floor, his face red as a tomato and burning from the embarrassment, Kihyun wasn’t in his best state either, when his mom entered in the room was obvious something happened there– “Did you two fight again?”

“No!” – They said at unsound and a little too loud for Changkyun mother’s taste but she only smiled and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner -

“Okay Okay breath guys” – She rolled his eyes but can't stop and little smile, _kids–_ “Kihyunnie want to stay for dinner?”

“Sure” – he replied and Changkyun can’t be more excited ‘More time together Yey!’

While his mom was cooking Changkyun can’t stop himself and stared at Kihyun's direction, his pretty and rosy lips, fuck he really wanted to kiss him one more time but even a hug or being close was enough for him, at least Kihyun actually remembered they were dating and didn’t care to kiss him but now from all the moments his mom was at home the elder noticed and sat closer to him, too close, - “We can kiss later” – He winked and the younger blushed, was he so obvious? Of course he was.

They talked during dinner his mom telling them about his boring day of work and those annoying customers while the couple was listening, laughing time to time and replying how they didn’t want that job, everything was okay until Kihyun hold his hand and intertwined their fingers under the table – “Son, your face is so red!” – His mom noticed but thankfully didn’t move to check the temperature – “Are you feeling okay?”

“Y-yes, it’s just a bit… hot here” – he replied and noticed the smirk on the other boy face, ‘ _that bastard_ ’

She didn’t believe him but her phone ringed and she excused herself to attend it since it was from her job letting the two guys alone – “You’re so mean!”

Kihyun chuckled – “It’s not my fault you blush so easily” – He replied and the other pouted – “Also, what’s wrong with me holding my boyfriend’s hand?”

_‘Breath in breath out Changkyun’_

“You’re red again” – Yoo Fucking Kihyun was teasing him, how dare he?!! – “I hate you!” - the oldest laughed this time and Changkyun can’t help but stare, his beautiful high dimples showing his eyes almost gone, his skin pale but rosy at the same time, Kihyun was beautiful and his, only his.

  
Changkyun leaned on again and he knew it was wrong, it was dangerous, it was a risk but Kihyun didn’t seem to care, instead he was closing his eyes finally stopped to laugh and was smiling lightly waiting for what was coming next and Changkyun took this as permission but..

“Kyunnie!” – His mom called for him after hang up and entering in the kitchen – “I’m sorry I need to leave tomorrow for a week issue, are you going to be okay? Want to stay with Jongdae?”

“No mom” – Changkyun can’t see her on the eyes, embarrassment evident on his face – “I’ll be okay”

"Take care of my son Kihyunnie” – She smiled to her son’s boyfriend and went to do the dishes, Kihyun thought it was too late already and needed to leave so bid his goodbyes and went to the front door being followed closely by Changkyun – I’m sorry… for everything, my mom and…“

  
This time Changkyun couldn’t finish what he was saying because of pair of lips were on his shuting him up, the kiss hardly last few seconds but was enough to send him directly to wonderland – “See you tomorrow _boyfriend”_ – Kihyun winked

“Y-yeah” – That was all Changkyun can say and then Kihyun left

“I saw that”

“MOM!”

Changkyun spend at least an hour telling his mom what happened with Kihyun.


	9. Date and Confess ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should be posted like 5 days ago... ups~ I'm sorry ♥ i had monbebe duties♥ Thanks for reading! this is basically the last chapter but wait for a extra chapter ♥

“I never noticed you like pouting so much before Changkyunnie” – Kihyun commented a Friday after school when they were playing videogames – “What’s wrong now?”

“Nothing” – Changkyun was sulking and it was adorable, Kihyun can’t stop and Cooed at him – 

“Owww” – The elder pinch his cheeks, since they started dating Kihyun got the habit to coo and babied him a lot and even when Changkyun liked it

he can’t get use to this change – “Baby is upset, Why Why~”  
“Kihyun!” – He whined – “I’m not a kid!” 

“You are you are~” – Kihyun moved closer to him and kissed every part of his face and immediately the younger blushed but let him do it– “Now, What happened to my baby?”

“It’s nothing I swear” – Kihyun raised an eyebrow and proceeded to kiss him again – “Yah, Stop!”

“I know you like it~” – True be told, Changkyun loved it but then Kihyun turned serious – “But really Kyun you can tell me anything”

“It’s nothing really” – He tried for a smile but then saw him rolling his eyes – “I kind of want a date”

“A dated?” – He asked and Changkyun nodded- “Only that?”

Changkyun frowned, what does he mean with “only that”? He can’t believe his ears, that was something really important to him and Kihyun just make it sound as if it was nothing – “Hey! Don’t get mad” – He exclaimed – “I just thought I did something wrong! Of course we can got out on a date! This weekend is okay for you?”

“Really?” – He asked still not believing him 

“Yeah really” – Kihyun moved closer to him, dangerously close – “Now stop pouting or you’ll regret it”

But instead he pouted more and seconds later Kihyun had his lip on top of Changkyun’s and kiss him sweetly a smile forming time to time – “Oh yeah, I’m regretting it so much” – Changkyun said sarcastically when they broke the kiss, still close enough to steal some more. 

“I’m going easy on you” – He winked and the only thing Changkyun wanted he wasn’t anymore – “Now… it’s late I’m heading to my house”

“Ki” – He called him – “You can stay here tonight you know”

“Not now baby boy” - Those were the moments Changkyun hated the most, when Kihyun picked his things and left but everything Changkyun wanted to do was watch movies until late cuddling under a fluffy blanket, stealing kisses and then fall asleep holding each other tightly but about that part of their relationship Kihyun was still a bit… distant.

Changkyun can’t complain, in the month they’ve been dating Kihyun has been nothing but perfect, better than he thought he could be (since he was kind of a dick with his ex-girlfriends) Changkyun was falling deeper and deeper in love with him but those feelings are only a burden in a relationship that was stuck. 

Other than light kisses time to time was the only difference to the friendship they had previously, Kihyun refused to hold hands outside and hugs (aka: Changkyun playing to baby monkey around Kihyun) was something they’ve done since forever. 

Changkyun felt as if they were bestfriend who kiss casually and he hated it. 

Insecurities that was all what Changkyun has been feelings, everyday overflowing more and more inside of him, all he wanted was confess to Kihyun, Kiss him in the way he wanted, Hold him in his arms without any worry tell him how much he loved him, but he can’t and after a month he finally got a date… great. 

~♥~

“Wake up sleepy beauty~” – The honey voice of his boyfriend called next to him, Changkyun for a second thought he was hallucinating until he turned around and found him lying in bed with him, he was happy but at the same time confused, what was he doing there? When did he fall asleep? And more important, why his boyfriend was looking more handsome, cuter and prettier each day? 

“How do you get in?” – Changkyun asked ruffling his eyes with the back of his hand, Kihyun almost coo at him, a new habit he got after started dating Changkyun he can’t help it the younger is so so so cute!

“Good morning to you too” – The elder rolled his eyes – “Your mom gave me a key remember? I need to take care of you big baby~”

“I’m not a kid!” – Changkyun pouted and turned around to go back to sleep but Kihyun didn’t let him so he gave up – “And what bring you here so early in the morning?”

“It’s already noon” – oh… Changkyun can’t lie and say he didn’t spent almost all night playing videogames... No, Kihyun would scold to him –“Anyway, I’m here to take you out to a date”

“A date?!” – Now he was totally awake, that was fast, a part of him believe Kihyun could forget about it – “Other videogames date?”

“I said take you OUT” – the elder rolled his eyes – “so no, this is not other videogames date, why are you so surprise if you were the one asking for this?”

“I thought you would forget about this…” – Kihyun slapped the back of his head – “Ouch!!”

“Idiot” – He stood up after gave him a little peck on his forehead – “Now go and get ready, I’ll be waiting for you downstairs”

For first time in his life Changkyun was in front of his closet with anything else than his underwear, staring at his clothes feeling as a teenager girl with a closet full of clothes but still nothing to wear, he took a breath and finally after 20 minutes chose: a tight skinny back jeans that Changkyun knew his butt looked great on it, a light blue thin sweeter Kihyun once said was his favorite, a collar with a little black hem Kihyun gave him as a birthday present, a little bit of eyeliner and finally let his hair down because he knew Kihyun preferred it like that… was he so obvious? 

He finally let the room and headed to where Kihyun was, sitting in the couch watching a random thing in the TV, the elder turned around and gave him one of his biggest smiles – “You looks so cute Changkyunnie!~”

Cute? Changkyun didn’t want to be cute! Look at his butt Kihyun, at his but!!! – “Just cute?” – He pouted looking at the elder standing up and walking to where he was – “Of course, my baby is cute~” – He peeked his lips shortly and smiled again – “but if you look this good I would be fighting all the people who stare at you”

“What?” – He almost didn’t understand him why should he? – “What do you mean?” 

“Nothing baby boy~” – The elder hold his hand and intertwined his fingers dragging him into the kitchen – “I cooked for you, hope you like”   
Changkyun didn’t like, he loved it! Kihyun cooked all the loved, his favorite food and his favorite desert, for a lunch everything was so perfect, -

“Did you like it?” 

“Y-yeah, Thank you” – After eat the boyfriends left the house and took a bus until a park a little afar of their neighborhood, it was pretty, all kind of flowers and colors beautifully fixed together, Changkyun can’t believe where Kihyun brought him, after all, he has known that guy for years and he didn’t seems to like this kind of cheesy things but he was always surprising him – “I always wanted to come here” – Kihyun commented when Changkyun was lost on his thoughts 

“Why you didn’t come before?” – Changkyun asked 

“Didn’t feel like coming here with anyone else” – Changkyun lightly smiled and felt his heart beat faster inside his chest – “Let’s go”

They walked a little bit more around the park, the elder can’t stop looking the flowers they were really pretty but Changkyun was staring at him, or precisely say, at his hand, he wanted to hold him so bad, so he got courage and moved his own closer and closer, almost there… but at the last moment he hold it back, Kihyun didn’t want that, he never did it before what was Changkyun thinking? He can’t force Kihyun-

“Don’t you like it?” – Kihyun worried voice interrupted his emo-thoughts – “I’m sorry I thought you would like, I should’ve thought better”

“No, No, No!” – Changkyun panicked the last thing he wanted was Kihyun feeling guilty – “I love it! I really like the view a lot”

“But you seem sad” – Kihyun now was standing in front of him – “What’s wrong Kyunnie? You can tell me whatever you have in your mind okay?”

“I just… Just… I…” – Kihyun raised his eyebrows waiting for him to talk and Changkyun knew he was embarrassing himself in front of him, well… more – “ijustwanttoholdyourhand”

“You want?” – Changkyun spoke so fast the elder didn’t get a single word of what he said so the blonde took a long breath before talk again – “I want to hold your hand”

“Is that so?” – Changkyun frowned hating how Kihyun rest importance to his worries but when he saw his hands in front of him waiting for him to react and the beautiful smile Kihyun had he could forgive and forget everything – “Take it whenever you want, you don’t need to ask for it”

“This doesn’t bother you?” – He took it anyway but Kihyun was the one who intertwined their fingers – “Why would this bother me? You’re the person I’m dating with” – Kihyun pecked his forehead, his nose and finally his lips a little bit longer and Changkyun melt inside, omg what did he said? What did he do? Is this even real? This can’t be! Kihyun doing something so so so.. Well… so gay! No even in million years someone could think this was possible months ago. 

They walked a little bit more after that until they found a perfect spot to lied down, resting their backs in an old tree – “This is so relaxing, afar from the city” – Changkyun mentioned and the other nodded agreeing with him, the younger loved spent time with Kihyun but this was something totally new, even since they were kids Changkyun wasn’t the type to go to play outside, Kihyun was but preferred stay with his little friend doing whatever in their houses. 

“You liked it?” – Kihyun asked again feeling a bit insecure of his choice because now he was also remembering their old days but Changkyun lying down and resting his head on his laps gave him the answer he wanted – “I loved it”

The brown haired man smiled fondly to him, after that, they didn’t talk anymore, Changkyun didn’t feel like did it anyway, no when Kihyun fingers were playing with his hair and his ears caressing him lightly and he melting as a little puppy.

“You know” – After some minutes Changkyun felt so short Kihyun stopped to talk – “I bought tickets to watch a movie”

“Really?!” – He exclaimed excited – “When? When? ~”

“If we leave now we’ll be on time to eat something and go to the movie” – Changkyun sat and gave him a little kiss on his check thanking him, he loved movies but movies with Kihyun in their first official date was the best he could have asked for, after shake the dirt of their pants (in Changkyun case in every part of his clothes) they headed to the bus stop, never, not even once, Kihyun let his hand go. 

It was around 6pm when they were near the cinema, the movie started at 7pm so Kihyun suggested eat something in a small Chinese restaurant nearby which Changkyun obviously accepted because he was starving. 

They sat in a table near the window and Kihyun ordered for them, he knew very well what Changkyun liked and indeed he only chose his favorite food but the younger didn’t noticed that, no when a bunch of girls near them can’t hide the hearts of their eyes staring at Kihyun or the waitress almost flirting with him when he brought the food. 

Changkyun knew how handsome his boyfriend was, he attracted people just by his presence and definitively he knew Kihyun loved that kind of attention and do anything to stop them, well, who could do it? They were all so pretty.

The blond didn’t want to make a scene so he took a breath and acted as if nothing was wrong – “Ki” – he called the other trying to hide his jealousy behind a fake smile – “I was thinking…”

“Wow that sounds dangerous” – Changkyun pouted but Kihyun can’t do other thing than laugh – “I’m sorry I’m sorry what did you wanted to say” – He said between laughs and Changkyun looked more annoyed. 

“Nothing” – Changkyun played the kid card and it worked 

“Owww, baby is angry? ~” – The elder cooed at him but this time Changkyun liked it, he liked Kihyun gave him his whole attention so he didn’t reply and looked at other side – “Why my baby boy is angry? Oww Ogu Ogu”

He said so loud maybe the whole restaurant heard him - “Okay stop this is embarrassing” – but the elder didn’t, instead he pitched his checks and smiled brightly to him – 

“My puppy is not angry with me anymoree~?” – He asked with a cute boy and finally Changkyun cringed 

“No” – He stood up - “Need to pee”

At the end his efforts were in vain because all of those girls eyes were on Kihyun saying how cute he was with Changkyun and he would be a “good boyfriend” yes he was, but he was taken, get it?!! 

After wash his face and calm himself down he exited the restroom only to found his boyfriend talking too friendly with a girl who was sitting next to him, Changkyun reached the table and sat in front of them where he was previously bowing lightly to her – “Kyunnie!! You’re back!” – Kihyun said as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing – “Let me introduce you” – He pointed at her and said – “She’s Yoo Yeonjung a friend from my vocal class”

“Yeonjung” – It was his turn now – “He’s Im Changkyun my childhood friend”

“Oh” – She said, realization appeared in his face – “Kihyun has told me a lot about you”

 _‘But he has never said a single thing about you’_ Changkyun wanted to say but let his bitchy side inside and just reply with a fake smile – “She said she came here alone, it’s a problem if she eats with us?”

 _‘Yes it’s a big problem Yoo Kihyun we’re on a date remember?’_ Again he preferred stay in silence and shook his head, he ate without said a single world the whole time while they were talking about class and activities and something about a duet they were planning, at some point she seemed more interested on Kihyun instead of his voice, it was obvious, she was exactly the type of girl Kihyun always liked, she was pretty, cute, kind and easy going, and finally his insecurities was eating him inside until the point he wanted to cry. 

They finished eating but they were still talking the movie was about to start and Changkyun called for his boyfriend – “Ki… the movie”

“It’s already time?” – The younger nodded – “Well Yeonjung we’re leaving”

Kihyun paid for their food (Including her) and let the restaurant. If it wasn’t because Changkyun was with his depressive thoughts walking behind them, he wouldn’t miss Kihyun rejecting her proposition to join in the movie too, saying he was in a date and the guy behind him was indeed the person he was dating with. After bid their goodbyes and she left, Kihyun tried to hold his hand nor when they walked nor during the whole movie either Changkyun let him do it or talk to him at all. Kihyun knew the younger was pissed but for the time the movie last he let him be but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried for him at all. 

“Kyunnie” – Changkyun heard him said when they left the cinema – “Why are you upset”

“I’m not” – Changkyun knew was stupid lie when he was sulking the whole time – “I’m just…”

“Kihyunnie?!!” – It was a feminine voice and the blonde cursed in his mind, did Kihyun know every girl in this town or what the fuck?!! – “Long time no see!!”

Changkyun knew her, she was Park Chaeyoung, a girl Kihyun dated for a week two summers ago, she hugged Kihyun first and did the same to him later, she has always been nothing but kind with him, even during the time she liked the elder boy she also took time to talk with Changkyun and always called him cute or puppy or things like that, Changkyun liked her as person but it was the worst time.

She only greet them and left a girl was waiting for her anyway, Jennie or something like that.

  
“Kyunnie…” – He walked away and he knew was walking right behind him, waiting he said something, Changkyun hated it, he hated act as a sensible and emotional girl in her days but he can’t help him, Kihyun didn’t do anything wrong, were Changkyun’s insecurities eating him inside again.   
They reached Changkyun’s house in record time and the younger was ready to open the door, hide in the comfort of his bed and cry the whole night but Kihyun stopped him – “Kyunnie, talk to me please” – Kihyun’s voice almost broke Changkyun’s heart, it was so… sad – “I know I did a lot of mistakes but…”

“You didn’t” – Changkyun voice was so small – “The date was perfect, you are perfect Kihyun”

Kihyun confused face frustrated Changkyun more – “But then…”

Changkyun didn’t let him talk - “You’re so damn perfect Kihyun! That’s why everyone loves you!”

“So… are you jealous?” – Kihyun thought it was possible since they met Yeonjung but he never thought was the jealous type

“It’s not only being jealous Kihyun!” – Changkyun tried to calm himself down but it didn’t worked instead he was raising his voice – “It’s just… just… you don’t know anything!”

Changkyun tried to walk away but Kihyun stopped him again – “Then explain me, I’m all ears for you”

“It’s just… Kihyun I don’t think we can work together” – Changkyun finally said and Kihyun’s serious face was almost scary but now nothing can stop him, he wanted Changkyun told him well now he’ll listen to him – “You’re so perfect Kihyun, you can make everyone falls for you! It’s not only your personality or face, you’re so smart and have a voice that make me think I’m listening an angel when you sing, but the most important Kihyun… you’re straight, you can have a family if you want, that girl, Yeonjung, she’s head over heels for you and you deserve someone you can love and she can love you back openly, I don’t want to force you into this relationship…”

“I’m not being forced…” – Kihyun tried to say but Changkyun was stoppable. 

“You are Ki and I hate it!” – At this point the younger let few tears run over his checks but that didn’t matter to him – “I’ve seen you making out with your ex girlfriends at the same day you got together… but with me… you hardly touch me, we never kiss properly or hug me or anything if I don’t ask for it and I know you asked me out because you didn’t want me to date Hyungwon but it hurts Kihyun”

Kihyun was in silence trying to get every word Changkyun said but it was so confusing “It hurts because…” – He was crying hard now and the words were each time more difficult to understand – “B-because I-I’m I-in love with y-you”

He finally said and Kihyun shocked face didn’t help him at all but the elder collected himself quickly to talk again – “but I don’t understand why…”

“I-I’ve been in love with you ever S-since middle school, you’re the reason why I thought I was gay but it’s because I love you I don’t want you to force into this, I want you to be happy and that’s not next to me…” – *hiccup hiccup*

Changkyun finally said everything he had in mind but now that he can think clearly he noticed how much he ruined everything, not only his relationship but also his friendship, probably Kihyun hated him now… 

“Open the door” – For the tone of his voice Changkyun didn’t have any room to decide, so he did and both entered in his house. Changkyun tried to take his shoes but before he did it Kihyun slammed him against the wall – “You’re so damn idiot you know that hmm Im Changkyun?” 

Kihyun didn’t allow him to reply, no, he was tired to hear him said dumb things, instead the elder decided to show him because seemed everything he has done was for nothing. This time he forgot his “Cute Changkyunnie” and kissed him, kiss him with a passion Changkyun has never felt before and immediately he kissed back weak hands circled his neck as Kihyun claimed the entrance of his mouth which Changkyun was totally willing to give. 

Changkyun got weak for the intensively of the kiss and Kihyun hands running down from his back until his hips didn’t help him at all, gradually air legs his lungs and Kihyun moved to kiss and bite his earlobe instead, licking his earring and moving to mark his neck, letting proof of what was going to happen him so Changkyun never forget of whom he belongs to. 

Kihyun took one of the younger hands and moved it until reach the bulge between his legs – “Do you still think I’m forcing myself?”

Again Kihyun didn’t allow him to reply because he was kissing the breath out of him but Changkyun didn’t complain, nor when he dragged him around the house until his bedroom nor when he slammed him against the bed either – “I told you Changkyun” – Kihyun took off Changkyun’s shirt –

“I was going to go easy on you, take it as slow as possible…”

He zipped down his pants and started to take them off too making the younger aware of his sudden nudeness and tried to cover himself but Kihyun didn’t let him – “I knew this was your first relationship, I knew it Changkyun! I didn’t want to scare you” - 

Then Kihyun took out his own shirt, Changkyun staring at the perfect specimen in front of his eyes - “I put you comfort over my needs, our needs” – he lied down above him resting his weight in his arms to not crush the boy under him and joined their foreheads together – “I can’t wait anymore”  
Changkyun can’t complain he wanted this for so so so long and he loved it, Kihyun could sound rough but he took his time knowing every part of his body, what Changkyun liked it and what he enjoyed the most. 

His light touches against his bare skin were enough to drive him crazy but Kihyun, leaning above him thrusting his hips and letting him felt so much pleasure, the kisses that only showed how much Kihyun also wanted this. 

It was like magic~ ♥

~♥~

“Kihyunnie” – Changkyun said after Kihyun got up and clean them both and now lying next to him with a very tired Changkyun clinging to him and drawing small circles around his back – “I love you so much”

Kihyun hugged him tighter against him and kissed the top of his head – “I think I might love you back too”

“I don’t like you used so many words” – He looked upwards and pouted 

“I don’t know how love felt Changkyunnie, but I think with you is the closer I’ve felt it” – Kihyun explained and the blonde can’t hide his smile – “You should have told me before idiot!”

“I can’t!!” – He sighed – “I was so scared, you never show any interest for any guy before!”

“Because I’m not interested in any guy” – The elder replied – “Just happened I like you and you’re a guy”

Changkyun instantly blushed and hid his face on his boyfriend chest – “Ummh stop my heart can’t handle it anymore~” Kihyun kissed his head again and smiled fondly to him – “Get use to it because you’re stuck with me for a long long time”

“I’m not complaining at all~”

But he complained the next day, he complained of the pain and complained of his boyfriend making fun of him because he walked as a little penguin and because “It was cute~” 

Maybe a boyfriend who was your bestfriend it’s not too bad ♥ 


	10. Extra chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Done! See you soon ♥

“Ouch my ass!” – Kihyun whined the exact moment he woke up and his lower part reminder him the previous night acts but smiled when he saw his little boyfriend next to him sleeping peacefully – “Baby Kyunnie~”

Kihyun caressed his cheeks softly adoring the boy cuteness at first hour, until he whined and that was the most cute noise Kihyun has ever heard, the elder can’t stop thinking how lucky he was for have this cute boyfriend. Anyway he didn’t have the heart to wake him up too early so carefully stood up of the bed and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, he was so lazy to wear something more than the oversized hoodie Changkyun had the previous night and a pair of his boxers. 

He walked to the kitchen to prepare something to eat, he didn’t feel to cook something luxurious that day and it was not like his refrigerator allow him to do it, after all, they just moved less than 24 hours ago, so pancakes was okay, maybe with honey above if Changkyun wanted to eat something sweeter. 

Kihyun started doing the mixture and decided to add some chocolate, because why not? He tried before and it taste incredible and Changkyun liked it (and of course Kihyun does everything Changkyun likes♥)

He was almost finishing when he felt a pair of lazy arms around his waist and a head on his shoulders – “Good morning Kihyunnie” – His boyfriend greeted him with a sleepy voice and Kihyun can’t stop to coo at him.

“Good morning baby” – the elder pecked his check and kept cooking, before it was very uncomfortable cook with a clingy Changkyun around but he got use to it after date the boy for over a year. 

Wow, a year? So fast! Kihyun felt as if it was yesterday when he was about to kill Hyungwon because he confessed to Changkyun, now he got this wonderful boyfriend and for everyone surprise Hyungwon started dating Hoseok after 6 months of mutual pinning. 

“Kihyunnie” – Changkyun called for him after few seconds of silence – “I don’t want to unpack those boxes”

The elder laughed – “We need to do it Changkyunnie~”

Changkyun always complained about this hard work, the previous day when they were carrying those heavy boxes to their new apartment the younger whined the whole time but for Kihyun’s surprise he wanted squeezed him between his arms every time he did it, that was how fucked he was for his boyfriend. 

They work the double of hard during the whole year to buy an apartment near the university they will be attending for the next years, they didn’t have enough time for each other but every moment they spend together was like magic for them. 

“Baby” – Kihyun finally turned around and pecked his lips lovely – “Let’s eat”

“But I want to hug you more” – He pouted knowing it was Kihyun weakness and the elder pecked his lips again – “What about if we cuddle today and unpack tomorrow?”

“Yeey!!” – Satisfy Changkyun was as easy as do it with a kid, he was always been happy for little things – “You’re the best!”

“I know I know” – He cockily said sitting in the table. They talked for a little bit and can’t stop thinking how domestic this was, who could believe it? Well he definitively can’t after all those failed relationship, he found love on his bestfriend? What a good drama, but at least he was happy ~  
After eat the elder did the dishes as the younger was taking a bath, both were stinking as sex and even if it didn’t bother Kihyun he went to take a bath too.. With Changkyun, because the odors not because he was planning do anything else… 

“Kyunnie! I’m going in!” – The grayish haired man announced after entered the bathroom and take off his clothes – 

Changkyun giggled at the other presence - “Miss me too much, Kihyunnie?”

“Well maybe I did” – He winked but as Kihyun was still sore they didn’t do more than take an “innocent” bath, playing with water and soap as if they were little kids, with a lot of laugh and jokes. It felt good. 

As Kihyun promised, they cuddled on the couch and watched movies, stealing few kisses time to time and holding each other tightly, it was mid-December already and the weather was so cold, something Changkyun never liked so he was clinging to him as a baby monkey. 

The side of his cute boyfriend around him getting as close as their bodies let him, crushing almost to dead – “Changkyunnieee baby my lugs already are not getting any more air!!” 

“But you are so warm~” – Changkyun didn’t do any move to let him go – “And comfy~”

“But you are killing me!” – Both chuckled and Changkyun moved to brush their noses together – “I love you so much Kihyunniee~”

Changkyun has been saying that a lot lately and always his insides melt after heard it but not even once Kihyun said it back, he has never said it before to anyone except his mom, but maybe it was time to be brave and say it for first time in his life – “I-I love you too Changkyunnie”

He can’t stop to laugh at Changkyun’s surprised face, it was so cute – “You mean it?”

“Of course I do idiot” – The elder smiled fondly at him but panicked when Changkyun started crying – “What’s wrong now?!”

But Changkyun shook his head – “I’m so happy” – He ruffled his eyes with his hands as a little kid– “I’ve been waiting for so long and now I’m so happy”

Kihyun took his hands off of his face to kiss his forehead – “Sorry to make you wait for so long, but I really mean it, okay?”

“Ki you really made me the happiest person alive” – The younger said and Kihyun chuckled

“You became so cheesy this year” – Changkyun pouted but Kihyun kissed it away – “But I love that part of you too”

~♥~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3  
> Kudos make me happy but your comments bright my day, i wish i could know what do you think of the story line <3  
> Also if you find any mistake please let me know and Thank you beforehand <3  
> Hope you enjoyed <3


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